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Knowledge & Insight

HAVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

Having difficult conversations with your team or individuals in your team? We all either have had those or definitely will in the future. It’s part of managing a team. Sometimes this is easier said than done. I personally know some really good leaders who can inspire and motivate their teams, but struggle to have difficult conversations with that same team. It’s too confronting, too awkward and too challenging for both the leader and the individuals involved. But… it doesn’t have to be. Here are 4 tips to help make that next conversation slightly easier for you:

1. When?

When should you have the conversation? Sooner rather than later. Things can fester and even escalate the longer it’s left. Address the issue straight up and as soon as you can. Make time in your day, don’t wait until you have time.

2. Where?

In private, always. Never address an issue with an individual in front of the team. You’ll damage the individual relationship and the teams’ respect for you as a leader. If you need to speak to the team as a whole, still do it in a closed room.

3. How?

Difficult conversations are more successful if you’ve done a bit of prior planning. Think about what you want to say and how you’d like to say it. Remember, there is an art to communicating effectively. A general structure I found works wonders is the PIS method. It involves you explaining the Problem – as you observe it for example Joe is always back late 5-10 minutes from lunch. Then explain the Impact – his behaviour has an impact on the rest of the team for example Suzie can’t take her lunch on time as she needs to wait for Joe to return. Suzie now starts feeling negatively towards Joe and this feeling can flow into work further when say Suzie has to take a call from one of Joe’s customers. This 1 behaviour of Joe returning late from lunch might look small and petty, but if left unaddressed, can spiral into a much larger issue, especially in collection / call centre type teams. As the leader, you have to be aware of this and know what is going on in your team on a day to day basis. The Solution – you can have some ideas on how to avoid the issue in the future, but keep an open mind as you approach the conversation. The solution needs to be discussed and you need the individual to have buy in, otherwise you are only lecturing…. Which is not going to make the individual change.

4. Listen, Listen, Listen

Ask the individual / team what’s the reason for their behaviour, give them the opportunity to respond and then listen. Not only to the verbal communications, but to the body language and try to read between the lines. The better you can understand why this person is behaving the way they are, the better you can address the issue and work together on a solution. Very rarely is a certain behaviour an isolated issue, it generally stems from something else. For example in this case, Joe might be disengaged, unmotivated or even uninterested in his role and targets, therefore not wanting to be at his desk and therefore always returning late from lunch. The root cause needs to be addressed as well as the behaviour displayed.

It’s not easy managing teams and individuals within the teams, but it can be done positively and effectively. As leaders, it’s your responsibility to equip yourself with tools on how to manage teams, how to communicate effectively and how to engage with them in order to achieve your goals.

For more tips and information or if you require help to get paid, contact me directly below or via Marlé Ambrose website.
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